Most of the people in my life are struggling. My brother-in-law is a post-college-graduate without full time work. He does delivery for a fast food chain.
My in-laws have one-hundred-thousand dollars in student loan debt. At age forty, they attended a local, but well respected private college – after both of their children had already graduated college – hoping to improve their lot in life. The college diploma is excellent wall art, but they’re still in the same jobs they’ve been in for two decades now.
My cousins are smart young men, without a trade. Both seems lost, but don’t know where to turn. One get’s high and the other lives with in a basement with his aunt and uncle.
My Mother and Father are in situations too depressing to write about here. My Grandmother owns a small business constantly fighting foreclosure.
Who knows what everyone else is doing…
It’s hard to say whose fault it is. The result of a broken education or political system? Poor decision making on the part of various individuals? Or something else all-together? Probably all of these and none of these.
For me, I wonder if we’ve forgotten what human beings require. Kind of like a domesticated tiger in a zoo. Our stripes are dull. Our skin sags and muscles underdeveloped. We see the world through a glazed plexi-glass window stained with the fingerprints of some distant observer.
Maybe we’ve built up this whole idea of satisfaction that’s an illusion. An idea of happiness built largely on false premises. Maybe it’s deeper. We’ve than happiness. Not a single emotion. We’ve built our whole universe on a figment. On a falsity. On haze.
Most of us don’t talk anymore. Not deeply, anyway. We are fake. We post pictures that are the best three seconds of our day and pretend like it’s our whole life. Leaving everyone feeling like this is what’s normal. When we’re all struggling. Disconnected. We don’t share that thing we used to. What was that thing? What am I missing? I know it’s there!
Sometimes I wonder if there’s some other way to live. I feel like I have to invent it – or reinvent it – or may just revive it. Is that even possible?
How is it that being human can feel so foreign?