Identity Crisis

Sometimes I have a lot of difficulty defining myself.

Am I just a corporate slave? Another drone in the white collar, paper pushing workforce?

Am I just another average 30 something year old dude with a wife, two kids and a few cars in the garage?

It seems like I’m not doing a lot of the things I like most. I’m not really doing the things I love, all that often anymore.

I’ve taken on way too many expenses. My wife and I have build a beautiful family, we have nice things and possessions, great careers and positive prospects to just keep on moving up but we have enslaved ourselves.

Then I step back and start to feel like I’m bellyaching. I feel like I’m a brat.

The more I move forward in life, the more I realize I don’t care for most the people I encounter.

Where is the love of music and art? Where is the desire to travel or experience other cultures? Where does the worship of retail, new cars and shiny trinkets end?

I feel like my life is turning into a poor imitation of a top 40 radio station. The same dozen songs playing over and over, the over enthusiastic DJ and the endless commercials urging me to buy something else I really don’t fucking need.

This is so mundane. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Because it is comfortable and easy.

 -Holden

 

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One thought on “Identity Crisis

  1. scottishmomus

    You might be being hard on yourself when all you’re trying to do is build a better life for your family. But if you’re asking the question then something doesn’t feel right to you. Maybe some change is needed for a better life fit? Good luck in the pursuit.

    Reply

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