I should be sleeping

I’m up late without much to say. A couple friends and I met at a brewery earlier today, I had four beers, came home and felt like sleeping even though it was only 7:30 pm.  Now it’s about 1:00 am and I realize that I shouldn’t have given in to my elevated blood alcohol levels driving me, forcing me, to close my eyes.

I have sat here a while begging my brain to pull something from its memory banks worth writing down, but then I remembered – “Hey, nobody reads this blog anyways.” I know that’s not totally true, but those of you who do read probably won’t mind the ramblings or are smart enough just to skip this post.

Just Be Yourself

This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about tonight.  Can you just be yourself?  What if your “real self” is a total jackass that most people wouldn’t want to be around?  I feel that way sometimes. I feel like “my real self” is totally misunderstood and I can rarely speak freely and openly about any given topic because people are in general too sensitive.

If it was a conversation about God and I were to go on unemotionally about why logically it doesn’t make sense to me that the God of the Christian/Jewish/Muslim world exists at all I would probably offend someone.  When I go on a semi-rant about how I have trouble feeling enthusiastic about Christmas time because of its ironically consumerist principals people get offended. When I bring up a political issue…

It’s not only combative and controversial issues that can potentially raise problems either. Maybe it’s “What’s wrong with Atticus?” because I’m not putting on a good smiley show or maybe my cynical humor is considered in poor taste.  There are 1000 things that would in many instances leave someone feel uncomfortable when I would simply be being myself. Maybe I’m strange.

Giving and Taking

Here’s another thing that bothers me. My wife participates in at event at her school (she is a high school art teacher) where she take a couple dozen children (ages 8-14) Christmas shopping at target.  Their organization raises money and allows the children to buy a few things who would have ordinarily gone without.  This year each child received $130.

This is the part that bothers me.  A lot of the children (actually their parents) completely abuse the system. For example, one women who dropper her child off for the even was driving a new car and upon handing her child over to my wife said: “I’ll be back later, I’m going to get my hair done.”  It was a similar situation for several other children.

I don’t know if people are just selfish or entitled (or both), but it really bothers me when people take advantage – especially when it means someone else is going without.  On a positive note there were several children and families that participated that were in need. A few children even skipped the toy section to buy essentials like toiletries  underwear, and clothing.  Most of the kids even made sure to get the siblings a few things too.

3 thoughts on “I should be sleeping

  1. Jon Whiting

    Well, it just so happens I’m an insomniac, and I do most of my reading and writing in the middle of the night. So, here I am reading your blog and writing a comment… Why not, I don’t have anything better to do. (except sleep)

    Hey,always be yourself man. Because no matter what you do you WILL offend someone, it can’t be helped. We are all misunderstood by some people at some time, and it’s human nature to be offended by what we don’t understand.

    If I say I don’t believe in God, then I offend the God fearing, If I say I’m a Christian, then I offend the Muslims. I f I say I am a Muslim… Well, then I offend everyone… Including other Muslims because I’m white. And because I’m white I offend some blacks. But if I were black then the Mexicans would hate me… And so on, and so on.

    There’s an old country tune I remember from when I was a kid. (I hate country music by the way, I hope that doesn’t offend anyone.) But the chorus is “Ya’ see you can’t please everyone, so ya’ got ta please yourself.”

    One of the reasons I read your blog is because you DO talk about the things that are uncomfortable, and I think those are the things that are the most important to talk about, It’s important for us to be different than others, and to have differences in opinions… It’s how we come up with the best solutions.

    Hope you get some sleep. See ya’

  2. Rattlesnake

    This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about tonight. Can you just be yourself? What if your “real self” is a total jackass that most people wouldn’t want to be around?

    I can relate to this. There have been many times that I’ve pissed people off by being honest. I generally just keep to myself because my true personality offends people. If I can, I avoid the kinds of people who are really sensitive.

  3. Jon

    I really like this post. You’re lucky that you write and express yourself so well, that you can start typing at 1 am and pull us all into your ‘space’. I agree with Jon Whiting that it’s a losing battle to please everyone. And especially in a blog, it’s probably not the best way to go. Because even if only 10% agree with your view – 10% of all the people on the web is a very large number of potential blog followers.


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