There aren’t many things I’m sure about – hell – there are less things I’m sure about today than at probably any time in my life. Having said that there are a few conclusions I’ve come to with some consistency that I think are worth sharing.
1. Stick to it
Anything I’m proud of in life, anything that I look back on and believe was worth doing, took time – and I stuck to it. Maybe this seems elementary, but I’ve always been the guy that would stick with something until the end. That has almost always paid off.
When I was playing high school football I started off as a third string guy. I was never going to see the field. Most of the other athletes were far superior to me via simple genetics, but I didn’t give up. A few hard workouts, a few guys quitting the team, and there I was – a starter. My senior year I didn’t come off the field. Not because I was the best, but because I just stayed on the team.
Almost anything else in life is that way too. Relationships, a career, obtaining an education, all require a lot of time and effort. My freshman year of college I really wanted to drop out and go to a local school near home – God I’m so happy I didn’t. So if you are thinking about quitting, maybe you shouldn’t.
The worst part is that if you make quitting a habit you never realize the fruits of sticking to it. That’s a bad habit to get into.
2. Feelings are chemical reactions
I’m an emotional guy even though people who know me would probably disagree. (I’m good at covering it up) I’ve been so angry that for an instant I could have killed, I’ve been so lust ridden that I could have cheated on my wife 100 times, I’ve been so depressed that I literally didn’t know what I wanted out of life. The one thought that kept me sane during those events was “these emotions aren’t real.”
Once you realize that emotions, no matter what they are, are simply the result of chemical reactions going off in your body causing you to feel a certain way – for me at least – they somehow become easier to manage. Anger leaves, that women you wanted so bad suddenly becomes not so special, and depression eventually fades.
The important thing is to make smart decisions based on facts and reality – not on your animalistic instincts. I think that’s why men like to get lost in sports so much. There is something incredibly natural about relying totally on guy reactions and knee jerk reflexes. A lot of that is a great release from our calculated and restrained lives.
Sometimes if you just take a step back and take some time (maybe blog about it) – things make more sense later.
3. If you think you know, you don’t
When I was 18 I thought I knew a thing or two. I was a smart kid, but damn looking back I realize just how dumb I was. That’s exciting too because I fully expect to look back on myself today and say “damn, I was dumb.” If you are constantly doing that – maybe you are getting somewhere.
The dumbest people on earth, in my experience, are those who think they have it all figured out – so they become stagnant. So the instant you find yourself thinking “I know a lot” step back and realize you have a really long way to go.
If anything, I hope I can always realize that I know almost nothing. I mean so far in life – I might know three things…