NO KIDS FOR ME! How having kids ruins lives.

I do not want children.  I have no desire what-so-ever to produce offspring.  I am not concerned with passing down my name, my genetics, nor any legacy.  I’m a happy guy and I want to stay that way.  I’m not missing anything, I’ve tried the dog thing, and taking care of something besides yourself sucks.  Period.

I can hear the parents screaming now.  You don’t know what you are missing!  You are naive!  Having a child and watching them grow is SO rewarding – and so the arguments go.  Let me just say something – you are all full of shit.

My happiness is not tied to the existence of a smaller, younger, screaming, shitting,  person that shares half my DNA.  I do not need another person’s life to complete my own.  Maybe you are just fooling yourself!

Society says: “Have a kid!” 

Having a kid is something society has taught us to do.  We should breed.  We should head forth and multiply!  It’s even in our religion, government, and genetics.  We want sex, the Government gives us tax incentives, and “God” says married people should have orgasms to breed, not for pleasure!  I mean who doesn’t love a cute kid?  Maybe society just wants us to join the club – and be as miserable and bogged down as they are.

Everyone I know who has a kid is a liar too.  How do I know?  Because the one thing they complain the most about (their kids) is the exact thing they say is the best thing in their life.  I call bullshit.

Seriously, if you tell me that having a kid completed you.  If you say that having a kid is the most special thing to ever happen in your life.  Or anything like that – then you are just trying to make yourself feel better about how bad having a kid sucks.

Disadvantages of Having a Kid

Kids are expensive, they get hurt, they get into trouble, they fuck up your house, they crawl on you, and I could get over all of that.  The one thing I’m not sure I could stand is losing time.  No more heading to the grocery store or out to dinner on a whim, no more sex in the kitchen just because I want to, no more weekend camping trips out of the blue, trips across the globe become “I have to find a baby-sitter”, and every convenience I once had suddenly becomes an exercise of “I would, but I have to watch the kids.”

Freedom.  Gone.

Kids also wreck that shit when they are spat out of a women’s vagina.  The once perfect breasts, smooth skin, tight ass, and sexual aura becomes a moody, orangutan titied, wilder-beast that survives by cutting your balls off for leisure.  Why would I want to subject my self to a lifelong tenure of mediocre sex with a former hottie that is destined to be interrupted by crying?

If you say having children is a blessing – then you had no goals or life beforehand.

Alternatives

With so many alternatives to having children I can barely stomach the idea of ruining my wife’s body to produce a second me.  I mean there are a million orphans going hungry at any given moment so why not adopt?  Perhaps that is more meaningful than producing a child of your own.  Adoption is a gift you give another human being – what can be more special than that?

Not having kids doesn’t make you selfish – it means you have different priorities

A lot of people call childless couples selfish, but that is a fallacy.  People without children aren’t selfish they simply have different priorities that do not include kids.

I want to travel the world, I truly want to make it a better place, I want to help people – especially those that already exist.  It almost feels more selfish for me to have two kids when I could use those same resources to help two children somewhere else – who have already been born – and are going hungry.  Maybe having children in a world full of hungry ones makes YOU the selfish one.

In all seriousness

Have kids or don’t.  I’m not sure either path is any better than the other.  My overall point here is that no one should feel pressured by society to have children.  For many people, especially those people who aren’t ready, having a child is a responsibility they aren’t financially nor mentally ready for.  Let’s stop with the “let’s have kids by 30” thing and start a “lets enjoy life” one.

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17 thoughts on “NO KIDS FOR ME! How having kids ruins lives.

  1. Kristin

    I love that you’re able to share your perspective so articulately. A lot of what you said makes sense. It all comes down to personal preference and priorities.

    – K.

    Reply
  2. Jon

    I sometimes think about the people I know who decided to have kids, and those who decided not to. And I ask myself which seem to have the happiest lives. It’s not clear. Seems about the same %.

    Reply
    1. Atticus Finch

      I think it totally depends on the person and the person being ready to take on such a responsibility. My post was a little bit of a rant, but I know people who are extremely happy with both situations in life. (Me and Holden are on either sides of the spectrum, for example.)

      Reply
  3. Rattlesnake

    The biggest drawback for me having kids is that I just don’t like them. They are annoying. I’ve never met a kid that I enjoy being around in the least.

    On the upside for me, raising a kid could be a sort of like an experiment. I have thought about which decisions should be made during the course of parenting (or changing ways in which I was raised), and I would like to see what affects those decisions have.

    Reply
    1. Holden

      Ah Rattlesnake, I too hate kids but have a few of my own. It’s a lot different when they’re yours. I still hate the little snot nosed weasels, but I love mine.

      You know what buddy, you’ve inspired me. I’m going to write my take on having kids.

      Reply
  4. Angie

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    Reply
  5. Gisele

    I love it! I am a woman and I agree 100%. Life is short and having kids is not how I want to spend my precious time here on Earth. I have a stepson. I am very fond of him and I didn’t have to deal with stretch marks!

    Reply
    1. Atticus C. Post author

      Do you know, since writing this post, my wife and I had a baby. It’s funny how things change. It is a challenge, mostly because I can’t get out and do things on a whim – it takes preparation now. But on the other hand – it’s pleasantly strange having someone else in my life that I miss and that I care about.

      Also, my wife didn’t get any stretch marks and looks as good in a Bikini now as she did before she was preggo. She took having a kid like a champ.

      Lesson: Never say never. 🙂

      Reply
    1. Holden

      I’m Atty’s best friend and co-author on the site. I just saw these comments pop up and read this old post. Boy how times change!

      I will tell you this from experience- you never know how having children will affect you until you have them. You can’t predict it. Not that I proclaim everyone should have them or they complete you, or anything mushy about that.

      Just remember, we are biologically programmed to reproduce. So naturally, once you pop out a child of your own, of your own flesh and blood, its a serious game changer. Its seriously…. strange…..

      Reply
  6. ven

    Wow, so first he makes a post saying how kids would ruin his life, then he just happens to have one shortly after with his wife. Pathetic. Fooled into it, eh? Or think you weren’t? DNA deception got to this plebian blogger.

    Reply
    1. Atticus C. Post author

      “Plebian Blogger” hahaha

      This is one of the funniest comments I’ve ever seen. But in all seriousness – that’s how life works, right? Life throws you curve-balls and you find ways to enjoy it. Or – maybe you even realize your pre-conceived notions about a certain topic, based on no experience and speculation – were wrong.

      Reply
        1. Atticus C. Post author

          Just goes to show how time and circumstance changes opinions and life. One of the more interesting things about keeping an open and honest blog over the years.

          Reply

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