The end times according to the Jehova Witness’s that keep knocking on my damned door

A nicely dressed man walks up to me while I’m doing yard work.  He has a black tie, black suit, black shoes, and it is 92 degrees outside.  This can only mean one thing.  He’s a Jehovah’s Witness and I’m about to be solicited to talk about God Jehovah.  Again.

I’m polite to evangelicals.  Probably more polite than uninvited family members.  Even though I’m obviously right in the middle of doing yard work, sweating my ass off, and blatantly trying to pretend I don’t see them walking up my driveway they bother me anyways.  I guess I have a certain amount of respect for anyone who can be so oblivoius to how much the entire planet doesn’t want to talk to them.  (I wonder what happens if  a Mormon knocks on a Jehovah’s witness’s door?  How long does that conversation last?  Infinity?)


Yep.  He wanted to talk about Armageddon.  I told him I was very busy and he politely offered me a booklet and left me alone.  Boring.  What I found inside their little Booklet was a little more interesting. The answers to all of our questions regarding the END OF THE WORLD!

The interesting thing about end time prophecies is that people are ALWAYS predicting the end times and it’s always coming soon – very soon – any time now.  Let’s see what the Jehovah’s Witnesses have to say on the issue.

…The prophecy in Revelation speaks of a time in the near future when Satan and the demons will motivate human governments to assemble their armies, thus issuing a defiant challenge to God’s interests.  the attack will result in the death of millions of people when God defeats the invaders…

…God will defend good people from hose who would crush them.  the aggressors in this conflict are “the kings of the entire inhabited earth,” the world’s leaders.  Why the attack?  Because, like a puppet master, Satan will maneuver both governmental and military agencies into an all-out assault on those who worship Jehovah  God…

…The war of Armageddon results in the saving of millions of lives.  In fact, it is a prelude to a period of peace on earth…

Did I read that right?

Satan is going to get involved in the United Nations or some other world Government and talk the leaders into initiating world destruction by what sounds like nuclear war.  The trick will work and people will start war.  Millions will die, but not believers of Jehovah who will be protected.  Peace, of course, will be the end result?

This sounds a lot like the attack on Pearl Harbor at the end of WWII.  Am I missing something – or did they just describe something that already happened?

The End is Always Near

Evangelist, including those quoted in the bible, have always preached that the end times are near.  There have been countless failed end time prophecies. Why?  For two basic reasons I can think of.

1. It makes good, juicy, headline producing, entertaining, news.
2. Fear is a good way to make people convert to your religion, cult, organization, or other belief system.

Final Thoughts

Jehovah Witness theology is a very interesting phenomena to me. It shows how religious belief can be manipulated in based on current events and popular media. I also think it is interesting that a group of people can believe such things to such an extend that they relentlessly search for converts. To me, the Watchtower, is a cult. They have manipulated good people in such a way to believe dumb things. That is my overall critique with most religious groups.

2 thoughts on “The end times according to the Jehova Witness’s that keep knocking on my damned door

  1. Danny Haszard

    With the Mayan 2012 end of world timeline and,Harold Camping’s *rapture reloaded* in the news the apocalyptic themes of the Jehovah’s Witnesses is getting attention.
    Watchtower Jehovahs Witnesses have lost credibility with their own *Millerite Math* doctrine of Jesus *invisible* second coming October 1914.
    Watchtower society false prophets declare Armageddon end of world in 1874, 1878, 1881, 1910, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975, and 1984….

  2. Keith

    “I wonder what happens if a Mormon knocks on a Jehovah’s witness’s door?”

    Now that’s a conversation I’d love to hear!


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