Change Examined

I have noticed that certain things in my life stay almost exactly the same while other things change all the time. I mean its almost too easy to break my life into distinct stages – but at the same time I can easily identify things that have always been constant.

For example, I can remember a time when I was little and I lived at home with my parents in South Atlanta. That was hell. I remember middle school when I honestly thought I was going to be an NFL football player. I remember in high school when high-school wrestling was all I thought about. Looking back I realize how ignorant I was, but it also amazes me how I made so many great decisions almost by chance.

On the same token some small things I do seem to be almost unchanged. I’ve had the same haircut, basically, since I was 17. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t go for a run regularly. I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have this feeling in my gut that I’m supposed to do something “great” with myself – although what I thought I’m supposed to do has changed several times. What I’m talking about reminds me of this post I wrote a long time ago.

Just a couple of years ago I was spending most of my time with college friends, doing a lot of drinking, working at a dining hall, and quite frankly living the dream. I wonder why now I feel obligated to live a life like the one I do. I would be perfectly content being poor and living like a college kid. In fact, I’m hanging out with those guys again this weekend – I wonder why I don’t do it more often. I’m horrible at keeping up with people. My best friends from high school I’m not really even friends with. The ones from college I’m slowly letting drift apart. Memo to self: preserve friendships.

Anyways, if you have made it this far I commend you. This has turned into quite a meaningless ramble that will surely add no value to you at all. If anything, just know, that if you think examining you life is a little weird – you aren’t alone.

The exciting part is realizing that you can do anything you want. The trick is just doing it, I guess.

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