Yesterday one of my wife’s best friends came over to the house. She recently had a baby, who is one of the cutest babies I have ever see. Like one of those babies that doesn’t look like a baby, but rather an old man trapped in a newborn’s body… Anyways, we have known her friend sense high school and she used to be beautiful and fit. Now she looks horrible. She gained about 40lbs and looked like life just knocked the shit out of her for 9 months and then took a giant dump on top of top of her formally fit body.
I mean I know that pregnancy takes a major toll on a woman’s body – I mean you have another person living off of your resources for nine months, but damn – I really do not want to see my wife go down hill like that! THAT is the least of my worries though. I could care less if my wife gained a few pounds, really.
The worst of it was that she is miserable. I can see it all over her face. The way she talks about things she planned on doing or wanted to do, but now can’t. She and her “baby-daddy” aren’t doing to well financially either, so I imagine that is a great burden. I know that my experience would differ if I were to wait until later in life to have children – I mean I am already more financially stable than they are and given time I could “sew my wild oats” for travel and life adventure, but I can’t really EVER see myself wanting children. I mean if my wife was to get pregnant accidentally I would embrace it and LOVE it, but purposely getting her prego isn’t something I think I want to do.
My best friend is in the same situation. He is a little older and mature, but a man after my own heart. He too, is miserable. He wants to travel, have free time, and have adventures, but can’t. It’s like a prison and I can see it written all over his face. He is also frustrated with his wife who has gained weight and stopped “trying” to look beautiful since pregnancy. She too seems miserable. She’s like a caged dog begging to break free anytime she has the chance. Very few couples seem genuinely happier after child birth.
I’m not bashing every couple’s decision to have a baby here. Not at all! I’m just saying that pressure from society to have children is kind of well, retarded. Why does me and my wife HAVE TO have children? I know that she feels the pressure more than I do – she was taught since childhood she was going to grow up, get married, and pop out babies. I mean, she’s Catholic – that’s almost like Mormons when it comes to having babies! I’ve even heard people criticize the decision as anit-religious (which bothers my wife much more than me). I’d almost rather adopt a child that REALLY needs a home over having one of my own…
Anyways, I know my chances of actually oneday producing an offspring are high as my wife and I have sex often and that is what happens when you have sex, but one thing is for sure – I want to wait. A long, long time. Don’t give me this shit about women’s uterus’s drying up either. My mother-in-law’s 42 year old friend just had her first child (by accident). I want to travel, educate myself, and do everything in life I ever wanted to do before even thinking about having a child. I think it’s more healthy that way anyways. I’m tired of seeing these kids have kids.
I want to be mature in my thought, know myself, financially able, and ready to teach this child and prepare them for the world they are about to enter. I don’t want to find myself trapped by a child before I am ready. Anyone who is truly ready early, I praise them – but for me – I want to live my life so fully that when I die I can say – yep I can go easy. Part of that life plan might include a child, but I’m in no rush and I think I’ll be all the better for it in the end.