Regret

There aren’t many things that I can honestly say that I might regret when I die. I genuinely do pretty much the best I can and have a “no regrets” kind of attitude. The only thing I can say for certain is that when my Mother dies I will regret not being better to her and not seeing her more.

My Mother, despite all of her flaws, is a good person. If nothing else she is most defiantly a loving mother. She would do anything for me and I think that is worth a lot. I had a rough childhood and my mother did drugs (and hid it from me). She has pretty much been downtrodden and abused her whole life so I don’t think she really knows what real security and happiness is.

I only see my Mother about once a month (or less) and for that I should really be ashamed. Even when she calls I kind of ignore her. It’s nothing personal and the 60 mile drive to her house probably isn’t good enough excuse to neglect our relationship. If she were to die today – I know that I would regret not being a better son.

There are a lot of circumstances surrounding our relationship and my feeling of not wanting to see her, but life has dealt me a pretty good hand so I guess I don’t have too much to complain about… So recognizing this fact I should will be better to my Mother. The holidays are coming up so maybe now would be a good time to step my game up as a lousy Son.

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