atticus

I’m 23, college educated, married, and have a stable career – but that’s pretty trivial.  Who am I really?  I am a man who has made mistakes.  Some I have learned from.

I am trying to figure things out.  I am trying to understand where I stand.  What I believe.  Trying to figure out what’s right and what’s wrong.  What is taught by society and what is reality.

I believe in personal freedom.  I don’t know where I stand regarding faith.  I believe in integrity and honesty – to yourself and others.  Even when it’s hard.

If you have read this blog some of the posts are my deepest thoughts – so I probably sound like a bastard.  I’m just trying to be honest.  Sometimes I get it wrong, but I’m just trying to learn, to work it all out for myself.  I guess that’s why I write to begin with – to get these thoughts out – to stare at them before they slip away into nothingness and I get nothing from them.

I am egotistical and prideful.  I am a know it all, but I know that I know very little – in reality.  I try to appreciate differences and uniqueness.  I have trouble tolerating laziness and intentional ignorance.  I am flawed and at times I lack compassion – especially to those closest to me.

I want to do something great, to live life to the fullest, but I do not know if I have the courage to do so.  I try to realize how large and diverse people and experiences are – and I try to remember there is more to this world than my own life.  I want to experience more – as much as possible.  I want to relate and appreciate it all.

I want to be a good person, but I’m not.  Not always, maybe not ever.  I try not to lie to myself, even when it’s difficult.  I want to be true to myself.

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2 thoughts on “atticus

  1. Deborah Scatteredmusings

    Sounds like you have your head on straight and headed in the right direction. Living and learning, using our mistakes to make us stronger. Being truthful to others and to ourselves. All great qualities.

    I lack compassion for others on some occasions, I have found myself offering to little for some and giving to much to others.

    Reply

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