When you spend so much time at a place, your whole world revolves around a certain thing – its your life. Then suddenly something changes and you that place isn’t your whole world anymore. You come back periodically and it’s pure nostalgia. A rush of memories hit you.
I think of the most obscure instances, nothing too important. Just the things I did routinely. I remember walking to class everyday, taking the same route. Even certain odors remind me of a classroom I once spent so many hours in. I’ve only been out of school a short time, but the feeling I get when I go back is difficult to explain. Kind of like realizing you miss an old friend that you never made any special effort to see before, but was always around.
I notice new things and point them out to whoever I’m with that would notice with me. I do the little things I used to do, but now with special effort – just to relive those moments. Most of the little things stay the same, the faces have changed. I remember when I first left home for school. I would come back periodically and kind of feel the same way. I can understand how my grandparents feel when they see an old coke bottle or a shop that has been there for years. Those things that stand the test of time become more and more special for those who were around to notice them.
I remember seeing an old tire on the side of the road near where I would run. I used to think that someone should clean the area up. Well, it’s still there a couple of years after I’ve gone, but this time I actually felt some pleasure in seeing it was still there. I don’t know why. I guess just reliving those experiences remind you of who you are and all of the little pieces of life that make you, you.
It’s tough to explain how nostalgia feels. It is kind of a faint feeling of pleasure and pain in your chest, near where love sits. A little bit of pain mixed with pride and perhaps a little bit of missing those days and those people, places, and the world you used to live in.