Routine

I walk in the building and I see the same faces.  Day in and day out those same people are sitting in there same little spots looking at those same fucking computers.  It’s like clockwork.  I do not visit the office often, most of the time I spend at one location or another working on various projects.  I guess I’m fortunate in that respect, but even on occasion I could spend a month or more at one place.

That’s when I began thinking it’s like a prison.  I have spent days and weeks inside a tiny office looking at four white walls and a computer screen for hours a day.  Missing the sunshine, not even knowing for sure what the weather was like that day.  I even forget that there is an outside world, I’m so focused on my work.  It’s really a tragedy.  It’s a self-induced prison.

I have talked myself into believing that this is the best I can do.  Too afraid to give it all up.  What if I did.  Gave up the security of a well paying job.  Just lived off the land – day by day.  Would my wife agree?  What about something less extreme?  I don’t even know what that would be.  I just know that in the end, there is a high probability I will regret missing days of my life in  self-induced confinement.

It’s not all bad, don’t get me wrong.  I get to travel and occasionally see some nice things, but on the other hand I have spent full days in an airport food court.  What if I just took my life savings and moved to Europe, New York City, South America, wherever – and just did my best.  I wonder how I would feel.  What would happen when suddenly that became my life, my reality – would I regret it?  Would I be miserable or would I be alive?  It’s a big what-if risk.

I just know that I have to see the world.  I must have amazing experiences. And I have to fulfil these ambitions inside myself.  I can feel it in my chest, it’s what I’m meant to do.

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This entry was posted in Life in General on by .

About Atticus C.

I was born in raised in Georgia, now approaching 30. I have traveled to 13 countries and have bachelors and masters degrees in business. I am fortunate enough to call my beautiful wife and daughter family. I've been writing here since 2011.

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