Sometimes I just sit awake at night thinking about what I want to do with myself. I just stay awake for a while, not sleeping, just thinking about living a less than ordinary life. Thinking about ambitions I may or may not be able to talk myself into pursuing.
I’m pretty comfortable with my current life. I’m pretty sure that most would say its a great place to be. I work for a great company and I’m very early in my career. On the other hand, I could see myself just dropping everything and moving away to some cool place I’ve always wanted to give a shot. Or maybe do something else all together. Go live in another country, drop everything and just help people, I don’t know.
I just don’t want to live this life “normal”. I don’t want to wake up a few years down the line and wish with all of my heart that I had done something when I really had the chance. I want my life to be amazing. No regrets. I want a meaningful existence. I think everyone wants that – but I also think that few really have the courage to go after it. Do I? I’d like to think so.
Going after it may mean losing some security. It may mean getting out of my comfort zone. It will probably mean a lot of work, but I think even just as I write this, that I am strangely comfortable with the thought of being out of my comfort zone – kind of an oxymoron…
Our short little existence on this earth is so miniscule I think I really can’t even grasp it. I just want to do so much.