This is a Facebook conversation I saw on my wall today. I went to high-school with this guy and it amazes me that he is so blinded by his convictions that he has become part of a religious cult. His ability to think freely is gone. He sees only through a lens fogged by Christian presuppositions.

People literally pulling their kids out of school, in fear, to further indoctrinate them with religious teachings. This frightens and saddens me. Just think how their poor children will view the world.

This morning I was laying in the bed with my four year old and I asked her, “Hey, do you want some buffalo feet for breakfast?”

“Noooo!” she yelled.

Then I followed up with, “Well how about some frog’s feet with frosted flakes? Or maybe some fish eye oatmeal? Mmm…..”

“Noooo, I’m tired. Leave me alone!!!!” She scorched.

“Alright, alright, how about some bacon or sausage then?” I followed warmly.

She paused a minute, thought about it and said, “Well, aren’t those animals?” I laughed and said they were. Then she said, “No, I don’t want to eat animals, I want them to be happy and free.”

About a month ago I had explained to my daughter that a lot of the things we eat come from different animals and I guess it had stuck with her. For a while now, she’s pretty much refused to eat anything but cereal and grilled cheese sandwiches. I thought it was just a phase, but I think my little girl is avoiding eating any pretty animals!

Later I asked her if she wanted some tasty broccoli to go with her rice crispies. I reassured her they were just little trees and didn’t come from any animals. She wasn’t sold. We settled on a banana, since monkeys in the jungle enjoy those and they taste better with cereal than yucky broccoli.

Happy Monday.

-Holden

Fort Collins Brewery’s Chocolate Stout has a nice dark chocolate taste with bitter notes. It is very smooth with mild carbonation.

Appearance 1.3/2.0

Dark Black with a nice caramel undertones and head.

Smell 1.7/2.0

A sweet, chocolaty smell. Cocoa notes.

Taste 2.7/4.0

Immediate chocolate taste that is mildly sweet. A bitter finish with very mild metallic notes. Chocolaty after-taste.

Mouth Feel 1.2/2.0

Smooth, full bodied, mildly carbonated, no burn.

Pairing

The smooth chocolaty flavor would go well with any fried dish. An ideal meal would would be fried chicken or a pan fried salmon with a side of potato salad.

Today I hit up Yelp for suggestions on where to get a great sandwich near the client office I’m working out of and got a surprising hit on a little hole in the wall Vietnamese sandwich shop called Q.T. Vietnamese Sandwich, wedged in around N 10^th St and Arch St.

Before today, I had no idea that the Vietnamese made their own variety of sandwiches. It turns out, the Vietnamese inherited the delicious baguette from the French during their colonial period and the rest is history! The Vietnamese have been crafting sandwiches their way ever since.

The sandwich I tried out today was the house special, called the Bánh mì. It featured a few different kinds of pork, julienned carrots, cilantro and hot peppers. The sandwich came out nicely toasted, full of flavor and cost a little under $5.

I have no idea why anyone would care to go to Subway for one of their subpar submarines when you can drop into places like Q.T. Vietnamese Sandwich and get a full sized hoagie for fewer than five bucks. If you’re in the area, don’t be afraid to venture off the beaten path a bit and search out these little gems. I’m finding more and more that Chinatown in Philly has more than its fair share of good eats.

Kids are tough business, but in a way they’re the best. There is no substitute for the love of your own child. The hugs and kisses, the cute candid moments when they’re playing quietly and don’t realize you’re watching, the hide and seek matches and messy spaghetti dinners that always end in an opportune moment to take a few timeless snapshots!

I can’t wait for Atty to experience all these things, but most of all- I can’t wait for him to GET OFF MY ASS!

Atticus is the most selfish, asshole of a friend a man with kids can have. Atty is the little devil in your ear taunting and ridiculing you for not abandoning your family to go out drinking with him. Atty is the cruel dickface who never lets you forget that you can’t travel as much as he can because you have children. And Atty is the punk ass bitch who won’t even let my kids come to his immaculate, un-kid friendly home for a cookout.

Atticus is the only person I know who has made me feel bad for having kids. This is a man who appears to truly loathe children.

And now you’re gonna have one. Your kid is going to keep you up all night, shit all over your house, destroy any and all of your prized treasures that you carelessly happen to leave in its path and make you long for the days when you could easily just plan a wonderful vacation.

You thought having a dog was a pain in the ass! BWA HA HA HA! You can’t send a kid to the kennel my friend. You can’t easily pawn a child off on relatives, not because they won’t want to watch it, but because if you’re on vacation, they’ll have to be on vacation too! And sure, you may say your unemployed mother can watch him/her, but once that beautiful bundle of joy enters this world and gazes into your eyes, the thought of leaving that little monkey in some ghetto in rural Georgia won’t seem like such a novel idea any more.

Oh joy! REJOICE! Welcome to the club my friend. I feel so much elation to see the playing leveled just a bit. And while I am deeply saddened and disappointed that you won’t be making it to hike Machu Picchu (I am truly devastated in fact), in some sick, sadistic way, there is a tiny bit of me that feels this is just a tiny piece of payback for all the shittiness you have bestowed upon me over my having children over the last few years.

Our friendship can only grow stronger from this. Finally, I’ll be able to bring my kids to you damn house without you acting like it is the end of the world. From here out we will share birthday parties, Halloween trick or treating, Christmas gift opening charades and family vacations! We will culture our children together and teach them of all the wonders of life. We will grow together as men who live no longer just for ourselves, but for another human being who is truly a part of ourselves.

Congrats Atty- and kiss my ass.

-Holden

It’s Friday night and the wife walks in wearing a skimpy little number. Provoking me. Like an adolecent teen I jump at the chance for some lovin’. Uh, oh – awesome sex during what is supposed to be “that  time of the month”? Okay, I finally admit, this is getting serious.

I’m traveling for the next week. I have to know. Is there a little parasitic person in her belly soaking up nutrients? I WANT TO KNOW! This leads us to the midnight trip for pregnancy tests.

We read the instructions carefully. Too carefully. So carefully that it starts to seem complicated. We throw the instructions away. Pee on a stick – easy enough. Wait two minutes.

“Holy Shit, is that two pink lines?”

Buy second test – this time digital.

“Holy Shit! Is that a YES?”

Second test confirms pregnancy. Wow. I mean WOW. I’m going to be a Dad!

Game Changer

As you can imagine, I have a whole lot to talk about. Coming soon.

The 2012 Election

In 2012 I closely followed media statistics and how they were effecting the presidential race.

One of the best sources of raw data was the Pew Research Center for media. The data was pretty clear and I found a few points worth noting.

1. During the Republican primaries Mitt Romney received debate time than any other candidate (50% more per debate than the 2nd most time, and twice as much as everyone else per debate)
2. During the Republican primaries Mitt Romney received more media coverage than any other candidate.
3. After the Republican primaries Barrack Obama immediately received more coverage than Mitt Romney. (almost twice as much)
4. Media and communication companies donated almost three as much to Obama as Romney.

In the end Obama won the election by a landslide. I wonder how much influence the volume and positive portrayal of Obama in the media had to do with voter’s opinion?

The Media Pushes Agenda

The media pushes an agenda for political purpose. This is no clearer than with the recent events and trial that is taking place surrounding the Benghazi consulate attack. While I will not focus on my personal opinion of what happened there I would like to focus on the media’s treatment of the event.

Conservative media (i.e., Fox News) is in outrage. They point out that orders for military personnel to stand down were given twice. This lead to the death of four Americans. After the event the white house issued a false statement saying that it was a riot inisiated by a YouTube video slamming Islam. It has recently been revealed that those talking points were manufactured and that key officials were ordered not to cooperate with the investigation. All this happening, Conservatives point out, only 2 months prior to Obama’s election.

Left wingers (i.e., MSNBC, ABC) say that this is a non-event that is being amplified by conservatives in a careful ploy to attack the Obama administration and, more specifically, Hilary Clinton.

So why are the two sides so far apart on an issue? The answer is obvious: Each side has their own Political Agenda. So why do we let media outlets get away with it during election time? And is it fair that media presents opinions as fact? I don’t think it is.

Media Interest, Advertising, and Corporate Ties

The problem isn’t with media sharing an opinion though. The problem is that popular media has a direct conflict of interest when it comes to presenting balanced and honest news. Why? Because the worst violators write their paycheck!

This is how it happens: ABC advertiser writes a million dollar check to XYZ media. Three months later XYZ media comes across a story where ABC advertiser was poisoning patients with bad pharmaceutics. ABC advertiser threatens to pull its million dollar advertising contract if XYZ media runs the story. Thus, XYZ media smiles and turns the other way. In fact, if ABC agrees to make that check 2 million dollars they will even put a positive spin on it. So in the end – the media company gets rich and the rest of us are fucked. This happens everyday.

If you don’t believe me ask yourself if you recognize any of these: The Stock Act, Monsanto Protection Act, CISPA, or National Security Letters, just to name a few.

My Point?

Don’t believe everything you see on TV.

Featured image photo credit.

I love this.  This is horrible, appalling and just one more micro cut that will eventually lead to the death of our society, but I love this because those mother fuckers asked for it.

The media has continued to suck, suck, suck the cocks of the Obama Administration, turning their heads the other way on so many of the administration’s transgressions while propping up their crusades and acting as the lapdog of the Whitehouse.  Then BAM- it has comes back to bite them in the ass.

I don’t care what your political reservations are. As journalists and the media, it is their jobs to keep them honest, regardless of who is in power.  And now they’re learning the hard way. Did they really think a president who has a secret kill list and rains down bombs on nations we have no declaration of war against would be on their side? Did they really think a president who has brought more cases against whistle blowers than any other president in history wouldn’t be spying on journalists?

This guy said it perfectly in the comments:

The AP has been on the wrong side of history, sucking up to, and carrying water for, the communist oppressors in the White House. See how they repaid you? Lie down with dogs and wake up with fleas.

-Holden

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/govt-obtains-wide-ap-phone-records-probe

Just over a month later on October 26, 2001 the Bush Administration exploited the fear and confusion among the American people to pass the most privacy-intrusive legislation in world history: The Patriot Act of 2001. Which begs a second question: How did they write AND pass such a comprehensive piece of legislation so quickly? (But maybe that’s another discussion.)

Surveillance State

Since 2001 it has become “common sense” that Americans will have to give up a piece of their privacy for the sake of “National Security”. The Government has since then installed at least 30 million surveillance cameras, built the largest spy data center on the planet, purchased a number of aerial surveillance drones, and more.

It is now fact that all of our emails, our voice conversations, and public actions are logged, tracked, and archived.

And in spite of Government surveillance capability tragedies such as the Sandy Hook and Auaura, Colorado shooting and the Boston Marathon Bombing happened. But instead of questioning the effectiveness of privacy related policy most popular media sources have demanded more surveillance.

Safety vs. Big Brother

I am not an advocate of the “Government is out to get you” school of thought, but I do question the appropriateness and effectiveness of the Government’s public safety tactics and installation Orwellian Big Brother style society. And while I do not foresee the Government becoming a Stalinist dictatorship (and least not anytime soon) – I do see a cultural shift of Government reliance – which I think is detrimental and dangerous.

For example, after the Boston Marathon Bombings local and federal authorities used the security cameras and surveillance data to identify and locate Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev. In some ways this was proof positive that surveillance brings justice – but did it?

After the initial bombing Boston was shut down for nearly a week. Businesses closed, people were not allowed to leave their homes, and police were searching private homes at will for the suspects. People lived in a police state for days AND it cost the city billions.

So which was worse for Boston – the bombing or what followed? I would argue that the terrorist tactic wasn’t to blow up as many people as possible (the bomb was light for terrorist standards), but to exploit the Government’s security tactics in effort to disrupt society and cost them a lot of money. If so, it work.

I’m honestly happy we caught the terrorists, but when we deal with situations in such a manner the terrorist accomplish their goal – MAYHAM. Hardly anyone wants to discuss this though.

Big Data

Another problem with all of this surveillance is management.

I have worked as an IT security consultant for the last five years and I have experienced first hand the challenges of big data. There are various security and access concerns, storage issues, questions about how to mine, sort, and search data – and it’s all very, very expensive.

The amount of data the Government is allowed to collect is an immediate red flag. Who is accessing my data? What are they doing with it? How do we know China isn’t stealing it? Why are they allowed to have my data? Who is checking up on the Government? And how much is it costing the tax payer? And is it worth it?

Why We Need Privacy

Do you remember when you were a kid and you wanted nothing more than to go in your room and shut the door? Every now and again your Mom would walk in unannounced and you would shout “Knock first!”

What about if you found out your parents were listening in on your phone calls or reading your texts? I cringe just thinking about it.

Were you plotting little terrorist attacks or rubbing paint all over the carpet? Probably not. You probably weren’t doing anything wrong, but the idea of someone eavesdropping on your private life seemed awful.

Similarly, all of America deserves its privacy. We want privacy because there are certain aspects of our personal lives that belong to us. There are certain aspects of being free that include no one knowing about it. It is a fundamental part of humanity. A part of humanity that if ignored will lead to hostility and resentment.

That’s part of the problem with Big, Intrusive, Governments.

Featured Image Photo Credit

There is a contrast – a distinct smell of tourist piss and vomit on many corners of the French Quarter, but a block over a tear may come to your eye from amazement of all the local culture and art.

Many parts of the town reek of tourist hell. Areas like Bourbon Street are so dirty and disgusting that the city has to literally wash the streets with soap and water every mornting – what else can they do when every tourist takes a giant metaphorical (sometimes literal) dump on the city in an alcohol induced rage until 4am before finally packing their bags and heading home?

I think that’s all part of the glorious dichotomy that is NOLA. It’s dirty, grimy, trashy, largely broken, touristy, but amazing. We still love New Orleans like almost no other place – and you should too!

It really is a unique experience to walk down a street and witness a full-grown man singing his heart out like no one but God himself is listening. Then there are the local bakeries and eateries – the local bakers and cooks gossiping in a southern/Cajun twang making it uniquely New Orleans. Everyone loves their craft and the tourist just pass through on their way to Bourbon street sometimes giving little recognition.

It’s the bartender who has lived in the city his entire life and can handle anything a drunken tourist can throw his way. It’s the artist that should have their art in a museum, but sells it on the street because that’s just what they do. It’s the conglomerate of artists, tourists, and a city of poverty and opportunity all living and working together – one barely acknowledging the other’s existence.

Tips to Avoid being just another tourist

I won’t lie or pretend that drinking, enjoying the sites, and gawking at street performers isn’t all part of the experience, but there are a few things you can do to make your trip to NOLA all the more satisfying – and maybe even absorbing a little extra culture along the way.

1. Absorb the local art

The local art may be my single favorite part of New Orleans. I may even go as far as to say that the French quarter and surrounding area might be the most artistic place in the United States per square foot. If you are a smart tourist you will kindly purchase an authentic piece of street art (for pennies compared to department store prices)!

The best place to buy an authentic piece of street art is off Jackson square. There are literally dozens of people sitting around selling their works. The best part is that most of the art is extremely affordable and high quality.

Helpful tip: generally, avoid the art shops off Royal Street. The art is essentially the same as what is in Jackson square, but with “you didn’t buy it on the street” prices. Most of the shops commission the local artists to put their work in the shops anyways. So it really is the same thing, just in a setting for rich people with too much cash.

2. Street Performers

Maybe this tip is a little cliché and not a best kept secret, but the street performers during the day on Royal Street are amazing. If you are lucky, you might also catch a glimpse of a wedding procession coming through too.

Royal Street is expensive, so keep your cash in hand and spend it a little further out like on Frenchmen St. where the atmosphere is a bit more authentic and affordable.

3. Find some Authentic NOLA style cuisine

For a place with such good food I don’t think I have ever had such a hard time finding a decent restaurant. Most of the places around the French quarter come right out of tourist trap hell with tourist trap prices to boot. In general, avoid most of them.

A good rule of thumb is the further you get from Bourbon Street the more authentic and less expensive the food becomes. Shane and I found a couple of great restaurants on Frenchman street called Maison, and The Praline Connection, and another across the river in Algiers called the Dry Dock Cafe (take the free fairy across the river).

4. Get Wasted, Responsibly

If you came to New Orleans to party – you came to the right place. Sheer supply and demand has driven prices down on drinks. You can generally get a “Huge Ass Beer”, Hurricane, or hand grenade almost anywhere. Don’t forget to try a Bloody Mary and the local beer too. If you are looking to party, of course the best place to do that is on Bourbon Street.

Be prepared, however, for belligerence, nudity, vomit, and crowds. This is not a street that you would like to take your family to – not at any time or any day. There are a plethora of strip clubs, intoxicated tourists, and women willing to expose their breast for the mere cost of a string of beads. If you aren’t looking to binge drink or if you are looking for the “real” New Orleans – then you probably want to stay clear of Bourbon Street. You have been forewarned!